Why does American society absolutely finds a need to tag stereotypes unto white women who so happen to be involved in interracial marriages. Does it give the average Joe/Jane a reason NOT to look in the mirror and seek his own person and make changes?
Why does my preference have to have a small print that explains why I married an African-American man. Eyes stare and automatically, I am easy, overweight maybe…rejected by the white male so I had to go to the “next best” thing. Maybe I am just his play thing, he couldn’t possibly be serious about a white woman! As soon as a better alternative shows up, black of course, then he will hop to her if he knows what’s good for him. Another black man, taken from the black market by a white female, WHAT A SHAME! Sell out! Trash!
What makes you all think that I am unfit or unable to be a good wife to my husband because I am not the same race as him? How retarded does that sound?
Fingers point and hatred is transmitted by people who’s ignorance will never allow them to truly love anyone deeply. Because they live in a box, their minds are small and short. No matter their financial rank or corporate title, they are unable to see past the surface, unable to love the way God loves each one of us, unconditionally.
Here is my story.
I am french Canadian of European descent. I didn’t grow up around many black people. Racism was not part of my language. America set the rules for me at the age of 14 when my family moved to Florida. Being attracted to other cultures was in my nature, since I myself was considered UNamerican. Being an immigrant and placed in ESOL program exposed me to all different races and I made friends. I dated White, Spanish and African- American boys in high school, including other black cultures like Jamaican,Bahamian and Haitian. I could relate, because although you could never tell by looking at me, I was not from America. Dating outside of my race became my preference. Not because I disliked white men, but I just was not attracted to them physically or mentally. Point blank period!!!!
Just like any teenage girl with low self esteem, I fell for the bad boy type. Loved the swag and “don’t care” attitude. My standard was very low, but that has NOTHING to do with my preference… eventually as I matured, I realized that there was no such thing as “too nice” to describe a man. What I was really saying is that I didn’t deserve nice. God changed my mind set. I still had the same preference, but my standard increased dramatically. If I wanted a healthy marriage with a family that was anywhere close to functional, I had to start making better choices in men. NOTHING to do with my preference, dating a man that was “too nice” became an absolute must. Looking back, there were a few that I turned away for being “too nice” and I kicked myself for losing their numbers. Still I was very much attracted to other cultures, I always have been fascinated by exotic looks and attitudes. As a single woman in my mid twenties, I dated men who were educated and had traveled. That was important to me because I needed someone with substance, who could think outside the box.I grew to love Hip Hop, Reggae, Salsa and Meringue…I can appreciate a man who is very well rounded at heart. I grew to appreciate a man who loves his mom, his family and someone who has had some kind of struggle. Because I can relate to that, not having been born with a silver spoon in my mouth, I needed a man who didn’t take success for granted, as I don’t….but that is not why I prefer dating out of my race!
I am so sick of the white women stereotypes.
My soul sisters don’t see me as having taken one of a few black men left….they see me happy, they consider me a human being who can see past skin color…and seeks the heart.
If you think I stole one in a few good black men left.. THAN DATE OUTSIDE YOUR RACE TOO! You never know who you will find and what you will experience. Good men come in all colors.. and scum bags too!
I am attracted to physical first, but by no means does that say ” if you’re not white I will date you!” I don’t date just any man because he’s a black man…there is so much more to me than that! Just like any good woman, I will turn a man down if he doesn’t fit my standard! I am not weak, easy or desperate. But I do have a preference. Just like some women like men with blond hair or dark hair.. or some women like men who are thinner…taller, wider..ect Does that mean that she will date just ANY blond man that comes along. GIVE ME A BREAK!
In my eyes, my husband is extremely sexy, intelligent, educated, strong willed and I am infatuated with him…more everyday. Although his looks attracted me first, I no longer see them now. I see his soul.
To you racists, no matter what your level of hypocrisy, who smile in our face and then talk behind our back, I don’t need your approval, I am doing EXACTLY what God has asked of me, what about you?
I am in a loving marriage with children who will know the meaning of true love, family values and hopefully become model citizens someday who love the lord… unlike you! I teach my daughter that we are all like pencils…just different shades, but we are all needed to paint a pretty picture, otherwise it would be boring…with just one shade.
Yes I have a preference, just like anyone else, but we who love outside of own race, are misunderstood.
www.avonmom.com
